Understanding and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome As A Female Entrepreneur [The What, Who, When, and Why of Imposter Syndrome: 6 ways To Give Yourself Permission To Succeed]
But First… Love Bomb!
Dear Fempire,
We hope you’re doing ahhh-mazing, fantastic, tremendous, and all the things that mean GREATNESS, because you are worth it and you should feel that way as much as humanly possible. In other words, you have every right to be where you are. You have every right to feel confidence in your accomplishments and owning them too. We love you! So, we want to help you better understand imposter syndrome and what it means. We know it sounds daunting, but Remember: It’s just a breakdown of our thoughts, not our lives, and WE HAVE THE POWER to control our thoughts. Aka we have the power to control OUR LIVES!
Fempire Stat (that means its a stat for Fempreneurs): This phenomenon was created and coined by a couple of badass clinical psychologists: Pauline Clance and Suzanne Ime in the ‘70s. (And of course, they’re women!) *Hair Flip*
THE WHAT
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Have you ever accomplished something great and received amazing feedback but still had negative thoughts? They come creeping in trying to convince us that we’re frauds, despite having the proof right there in front of our very own eyes! This is very real and is served on a hot plate of self doubt accompanied with your choice of depression or anxiety. Yeah, that’s imposter syndrome. It’s an internal struggle we MUST face head on, so we don’t have to choose either. So, what do we do about it? We give ourselves permission to dig deep. Dig reeeeeeal deep. (Trust us, you wanna keep reading.)
THE WHO
Who feels like a fraud?
Oh. Well, 70% of the population actually. And it affects a lot of female entrepreneurs (especially women of color). We could be an artist, an actress, an icon, an author, or mother and it can still affect us.
“I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” – Maya Angelou
You might find yourself asking, “How do I know if this is what I am experiencing?”. To that we say, if you ever catch yourself saying these phrases below then you might be experiencing impostor syndrome.
Phrases like:
- “I don’t belong here.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “Who am I to be here?”
- “Who am I to think that I can be better?”
- “Do I have the right to be here?”
- “Someone’s going to call me out.”
- “One of these days my momentum will stop when they realize I’m not special.”
Oh, but you are. The good thing is that imposter syndrome is not a chronic illness to be “diagnosed with”. Imposter Syndrome is more than self doubt. As cliché as it sounds, it’s a mindset! And what it all boils down to is how you see yourself. It’s not about the things you believe in or what you think you’re capable or not capable of doing. It’s straight up driven BY WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE AS A HUMAN BEING! And that changes now!
Figure out how to do that by joining the Fempire, Wonder Women Mastery.
THE WHEN
It’s time we stand up to that bully in our heads…
and say, “I SEE YOU. I HEAR YOU. BUT I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU!” Let’s have the audacity to hip check this bully right on outta braintown.
Protip: Use fear as fuel Before it’s too late. Sometimes fear can just feel like nerves. Don’t allow those nerves or feelings to stop you. We’re talking about self-sabotage. The push and pull of not wanting to fail but also scared of success. This causes us to potentially ruin our chances simply because we can’t break out of the cycle of being cornered by the bully itself: Self-doubt.
Here’s something to remember:
New places are scary to our ‘primitive brain’. So every time you step into a new and higher arena, remember this; You belong. There was a point that every person in that room walked through the same door as you. Don’t turn around. Don’t stop. You belong here.
THE WHY
Why do we need to overcome this BS in the first place?
Because it can hold us back from our greatest potential for growth and finding our individual meaning for life. You must decide to step into your greatness no matter how you feel. Figure out your why and commit to it. Anticipate and accept that you’re going to be uncomfortable. With this comes transformation. On the edge of your seat yet? Good. Feel like you might puke? Also, Good. (We’ll hold your hair back for you, metaphorically speaking of course).
The key is that when you think you can’t take the first step, you do it anyway. It might be weird or uncomfortable at first, but we know you’re capable of what you need to do to successfully disassociate from this. This is for anyone out there trying to be a better wife, partner, friend, fempreneur, or human. This is also for you, if you have any kind of goal and have relentlessly chased it…. and didn’t think you were good enough… that, my friends, is IMPOSTER SYNDROME and you deserve better. You deserve MORE.
Thank you TheGuardian.com for the pic!
Iconic women who have overcome Imposter Syndrome
- Penelope Cruz (Internationally known and Hispanic award winning actress), “I feel every time I’m making a movie, I feel like [it’s] my first movie. Every time I have the same fear that I’m gonna be fired. And I’m not joking. Every movie, the first week, I always feel that they could fire me!” —CBS, February 2009
- Justice Sonia Sotomayor (First Hispanic member of the supreme court), “I’m not a classic impostor-syndrome person because I have that initial insecurity but I’m capable of stepping outside of it and proving to myself it’s wrong.” —The Wall Street Journal, January 2013
- Meryl Streep ( Equal Rights Advocate, female activist, and award winning actress ) “”You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?’ ” – Streep told Ken Burns in a 2002 interview for USA Weekend.
6 Ways To Give Yourself Permission To Succeed
1. Take Responsibility For Yourself
Give yourself permission to succeed in your life. Figure out who you are and strongly identify with her. Own your accomplishments and your failures then move on, both help us learn and grow. When we align ourselves with who we are, naturally, it leaves no space for feelings of blame, shame, self-doubt, or guilt. Nothing else in this world has control over you, but you. It’s up to you how you respond or react to the situations you endure in your present and future self. When you know this down to your core, it can be the most powerful experience on your journey. So, jump on the self-love train and love bomb yourself, Queens! (Aka, Wonder Women). Take responsibility for yourself and prepare for the next level.
2. Give Yourself Grace
Ahhh, it’s the ultimate gift you can give yourself. Time to give yourself permission to take it easy on yourself, because if you won’t… who will? Forgive yourself for trying to be a perfectionist, controlling, or putting yourself down. From your clothes to your body. From your ideas to your opportunities. Remember, you should be forgiving yourself DAILY, even for the smallest slights against your confidence, inner being, or dreams. Allow yourself to make mistakes so that you can learn and process how things work. Let go of any expectations you have of yourself and just ALLOW things to be. Grace is about accepting yourself as you are, forgiving yourself for every negative thought, because it happens to all of us and it’s okay. Finding it hard to give grace while building a Fempire? Surround yourself around women who offer relentless support, and manifest that bitch into existence.
3. Rewrite The Story In Your Head
Fempire Stat: The average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. (Thanks for the fact, siobhankukolic.com!)
Rephrase, Rewrite, ReDo…You get it. 60,000 thoughts is A LOT to not to pay attention to. If we don’t control them, they are like toddlers with scissors running around our minds. This is great news Wonder Women, because what’s left for us to do then, is to think like a non imposter, and create our own thought patterns. Aka, our highest selves! When we are consciously aware of what’s going on inside of our own minds, we can find what triggers our fraudulent feelings. When you start to have negative thoughts – DISRUPT those thoughts with positive thoughts and rewire your brain in the moment! Don’t know how? Keep reading!
BONUS EXERCISE: Do a Thought Download:
Step 1. On a sheet of paper literally write down every negative thought floating around that beautiful mind of yours. Every single one, no matter how ugly or hurtful. In fact, the worse, the better.
Step 2. On another sheet of paper write down a positive and powerful anecdote phrase to cancel out the bad. After you’ve come to a blank with any remaining negative thoughts then begin to compile your anecdotes. If you have 12 negative thoughts, then you should have 12 positive anecdotes.
Example:
Negative thought: “I can’t lead on video because no one wants to stare at my face.
Anecdote: I can do anything I damn well please and people would be BLESSED to experience my energy and beauty as I help solve their problems!”
STEP 3: After this, we strongly advise that you ball up, trash, or tear up those negative thoughts, and pin those powerfully positive anecdotes to your vision board, mirror, wall, or any highly visible space! Bonus points for writing on your mirror in lipstick!
4. Choose To Make Success Possible
Give yourself permission to see yourself as a success. We mean that literally. VISUALIZE IT! Picture yourself successful. Picture yourself in your dream home, with your dream furbaby by your side, living your dream life you’ve always wanted to live. When you picture outcomes like this you are not only making it real, but you’re believing.
Fempire Stat: “The reticular activating system (RAS) is a network of neurons located in the brain stem that project anteriorly to the hypothalamus to mediate behavior, as well as both posteriorly to the thalamus and directly to the cortex for activation of awake, desynchronized cortical EEG patterns.” (thanks sciencedirect.com)
Did you know that when you visualize your dream, your brain begins to attract the things that will make it possible. This is called the RAS, as stated above. In fempire terms, this means that what you visualize your brain begins to look for or create through behavior in order to establish this vision of yours. Aka, when you think of donuts, your body walks itself to the car, drives to the donut shop, signals the most ideal donut, pays for it, and actualizes it…by eating the damn thing!
So, what if donuts were really deep desires, dreams, and goals? Yep, it works the same way!
When you believe in what you’re doing, you’re building confidence, courage, and ACTION to achieve it. Choosing to make success possible is choosing to prepare your mind and body for your next step in real life.
5. Own and Celebrate Your Wins
We say this time and time again, because we want this to be imprinted into your beautiful minds. Celebrate your wins both, big and small. Finally going to the gym? Opening the door on the first day of going IS A WIN! Celebrate it! We aren’t saying grab a burger on the way home. We are saying pat yourself on the back for committing to doing the things that make you uncomfortable, but will bring about growth. When you are owning and celebrating your wins this can help with impostor syndrome and burn outs.
Continuing to celebrate, even the smallest victories, keeps the brain on the path of believing and working towards achieving those ultimate goals!
6. Know And Focus On Your Own Skills
It’s just as important to jump off the humble train here as it is to believe in and love yourself. It’s okay that we all have different super powers. It’s okay to be exceptionally good at something and be recognized for it. It’s key here, that when you’re recognized for your particular talents or skills, that you own up to it, and accept it and that includes doing it in front of people!
Also, when we recognize our greatest strengths and quit dabbling in mastering others, we begin to create an image of greatness and accomplishment in our unique arenas. This is a beautiful goal for fulfillment of the soul. Don’t fall victim to being, “a jack of all trades and a master of none.”
There will come a time in the future when you get an award or compliment for your work, say thank you and own it! Don’t ramble off on a sentence as to ‘why it was no problem’ or ‘how anyone could have done it’! Give yourself permission to revel in your own glory!
“Recognize our greatest strengths and quit dabbling in the mastering of others”– WWM
Impostor Syndrome. Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.
It doesn’t stop ladies as long as you are growing. If you are human and on a journey, every time you step into a new room, a higher level, this unfriendly thought might rear its head. But now you know and can be prepared to bop it on the head whenever that time comes. Are you ready for a ridiculously positive spin?
Be grateful for the presence of impostor syndrome whenever it does come around. Why? WHYYYY? You ask? Because it’s a sign that you’re leveling up, that you’re trying something new or hard. It’s a sign that you’ve entered a space where you’re expecting more of yourself than ever before. So, with a grateful heart acknowledge the silly thought, “What am I doing here?”, and answer with, “Because I belong. Because I made this space. Because I am worthy of it”.
This world is full of billions of people and there’s no one person who is going to serve them all and we all have our own role in this world. We all have a destiny or something that we are supposed to do. That’s why we chase, want to grow, look for purpose or reach fulfillment and that determines the quality of our life. If you have what you need to start, start confidently. Don’t deprive the world of your greatness.
Step into your power and own it.
You have the right to be who you are.
You have the right to be the best version of yourself.
You deserve it and the world does too.
Just starting your journey or need help? Click Here for relentless Femsupport
xoxo,
WWM
